I’d known it was coming for a long time, and a longer time still.
I’d felt the chaos
in amongst the stillness
the stillness in the chaos.
the invisible line
that kept me from crossing over and wouldn’t allow me to permeate with the before.
Oil and water splattered the page of my existence.
As much as I yearned for the colours to bleed together, to unite in each brushstroke, the more I dripped
Nothing stayed, nothing was the same.
Desperately grappling at the crumbling clay that had been so solid and sculpted before.
The years of careful creation,
the delicate erosion,
the thawing of the frozen.
Eventually the masterpiece must melt as the light can no longer be kept at bay
its warming presence, deepening the cracks which longed to be discovered.
The drips turn to drops which fail to stop,
the growing puddle purifies the feet, cleanses the body, anoints the head and baptizes the soul.
The spirit in stillness, the body lies in the pool of water.
I can’t see my face in the reflection, only the light shining back at me.
I offer you a peek into this
in which I am trying to navigate my
My cuarentena as a fully grown
the cotton wool binds loosen at my ankles.
My feet didn't touch the ground
during that time.
My name ringing faintly in the hollowed caves
the footprints that led there only faintly puncturing
the path now.
The unfamiliar beginning to feel familiar
after straddling these entities
neither in its entirety
for so long.
The embellished veil that brushed my face
that second skin
I allow you to lift it with the grace of floating fingertips
and let it hang past the unwound shoulders.
The tightening clock key unravels anticlockwise
Vertebrae by vertebrae
the string of candy beads releases
the elastic looses its grip.
Sweetness after suffering
eventually the fruit becomes
In restless, relentless search of the golden key. Was it in my imagination, was it real? Perhaps it was just knowing that it it could be which made me feel better. Comforted. Believing maybe I wasn’t the only one who longed to find it. Hold it in my worn and hardened hands. Dangle it from around my neck, it would rest at my chest. Weightless.